Essential knowledge for parenting
1. Pregnancy
2. Birth
3. Childhood and Rearing
4. Childhood Medical Concerns
5. Ways to keep your child safe
6. ADD and ADHD
-See Family Planning for how to plan and concieve
-Make sure to kick all addictions/chemical vices, including alcohol and cigarettes. Ask a medical specialist and do research on ANY medicines you take to see if they will affect your pregnancy.
-When you decide on the name, keep in mind the name is lifelong and will be used in professional settings.
-For morning sickness, take more Vitamin B6 (Absolutely no more than 100mg per day, preferably lower and taken in several seperate doses). Avoid greasy foods, and eat dry crackers or bread before going to bed.
-You will need to eat more, since you are eating for two.
-You will have weird cravings, this is normal.
-If you have constipation, eat more fiber.
-Lay on your left side to prevent varicose veins. This will also help the fetus.
-When you get to the middle and late stages of pregnacy, your balance will be affected. Make sure to take extra care when getting into and exiting; tubs, showers, vehicles, and walking and up down stairs.
-When preparing the babies room, use a lot of color. Color is proven to improve creativity and brain function in babies and young children.
-Make sure to get enough Folic Acid (about 400 mcg) daily. It can be found in fortified foods.
-Make sure to eat some iodized salt, but don't overeat salt. Aim to have between 1500-2300 mg of sodium per day, if you have high blood pressure, aim for 1500 mg.
-Ask your doctor about pre-natal care.
-If you start bleeding from your vagina, see a doctor IMMEDIATELY.
-Make sure you are firm and clear with the doctors.
-Make sure the baby is labeled immediately at birth. Memorize the label and any distinguishing features.
-Request a delayed umbilical cord clamping. This will ensure the baby gets enough iron.
-Hold off on circumcision, let the child decide later in life. Cleaning concerns are not as important in this era of daily showers. Circumcision can also cause nerve damage and trauma. (Some hospitals even get money for foreskins, so they may try to pressure you. Refer to the first point in this category) (Note to Christians about circumcision)
-(POST BIRTH) Ensure you are being supervised post-birth, as you may suffer from Postpartum depression/psychosis.
-(POST BIRTH) After giving birth, eat plenty of nutritious and protein-rich foods. Your body needs them to recover.
-(POST BIRTH) Try feeding from your breasts first before trying to feed with formula ("Breast is Best!")
-(POST BIRTH) Do not let anyone with an outbreak of cold sores touch the baby
US Army TM 8-230 (Basic Nursing) (Pregnancy and Birth information on pg. 416)
-Be supportive of your child.
-Remember the times your parents hurt you (mentally, emotionally, or physically), and learn from that.
-Your child is relying on you.
-Read to the child to boost intelligence.
-Feed your child healthy homecooked food. Use meal-planning to save time. Make sure they get plenty of animal protein to properly grow.
-Speak to the child positively to promote communication. Your child is like a sponge.
-Be understanding with your child. Let them try to reason with you. This will teach them how to socially interact.
-Believe the child when they say something. They cannot vocalize as well as an adult.
-Sometimes, your child may say something you don't know, especially when it comes to newer things. This is not disrespect or a threat to your authority, it's merely the circumstances of life.
-Let your child relax. They are a human just like you.
-If your child seems unusually lazy in physical activity, it may be due to a medical condition.
-Make sure your child knows they can come to you if they're in distress or in trouble.
-Once your child can understand hypothetical scenarios and how to use a phone, teach them about 911 (or the emergency number in your country), and when to use it in an emergency. Place revelant numbers, such as poison control, in a place where your child can see it.
-Get your child to memorize their home address and the numbers of their parents. You can turn this into a game, for example, ask them at night to tell you their address and phone numbers, and if they get it right, give them a piece of candy.
-Ensure the child knows that being honest and open with you doesn't result in punishment or humilation. This will ensure the child is honest and open with you in the long term.
-Try to foster hobbies. They increase intelligence, creativity, morale, and can result in a career.
-Let them play and have fun. Playing is scientifically proven to help with brain development.
-Do not pressure them too much in academics. This will cause anxiety and mental burnout.
-Do not give away their property. This will cause distrust and possible hoarding behaviors.
-Try to treat the child's property as their own, especially when they get older.
-Siblings, even twins, can be very different in personality, desires, and skills. Treat them like two completely different people, because they are.
-Do not try to foster competition through comparisons. It will create destructive conflict and loss of self-esteem.
-Do not try to "toughen them up" through malicious actions.
-There is no honor or lesson to be learned from needless or purposeful suffering.
-Uprooting your child unexpectedly may cause trauma, especially if they have friends in the area where they live now.
-You are not in competition with your child. Conversely, your child's accomplishments aren't going to replace your failures.
-Do not leave them alone with a tablet for long times ("Ipad baby"). This will result in ADHD-like symptoms and emotional stunting. Instead, try to teach them computer skills and internet literacy. Also, do not use overly-restrictive parental controls, as it is most likely spyware and can interfere with the operation of the computer/phone. Instead, teach your child what to avoid and how to avoid it. This will help them prepare for the real-world.
-Physical discipline doesn't work, and can result in emotional stunting, trauma, and a full disconnect from you.
-Do not take/withhold food as punishment. This will lead to anxiety and eating disorders.
-Avoid neglectful, authoritarian, or helicopter parenting.
-As your child grows, they will become more capable and independent. This doesn't mean they don't love you.
-Let your children have some privacy. If you can, give them a room each (if you don't have enough rooms, split rooms with a thick curtain).
-When they hit puberty, they will be curious about sexuality and have new desires and feelings. Be understanding and empathetic with them.
-Puberty also creates rebellious tendencies. It's not their fault, they are dealing with new hormones.
-Let your child choose their clothes and hair style/cut. This will foster confidence and decision making. If you think the outfit is bad, explain nicely why you think so.
-Remember, they will treat you when you need their help, the same way you treated them when they needed help.
-Let your child make friends. This will create social skills, which is essential in school, workplaces, and making a family.
-Recognize that as your child grows, they will seek and require more freedom.
-No child's happiness is worth sacrificing for any "honor"
-Don't share your child's secrets, even with your closet friends
-Ensure that your child knows that there's nothing wrong with being picked up early. This will ensure that they don't stay in dangerous situations.
-Look up the poison hotline in your area.
-Property can be replaced, a child's love cannot.
-Cherish the time you have with them.
-Ensure that diapers are changed often, and that they do not chafe. If there is a rash, treat with cream, paste, or ointment. Always wash your hands after changing diapers. If the rash still does not go away, seek a medical professional.
-Do not punish the child for bedwetting, as it doesn't treat the causes and can cause trauma. Seek medical support.
-If your child gets stung by a bee or bitten by a spider, observe them closely to see if there is any medical reaction.
-Make sure any academic shortcomings are not vision problems or dyslexia.
-Avoid using lavender oil products on children, as it can disrupt hormones.
-Make sure your child gets enough Iodine. Iodine is found in iodized salt, fish, and milk.
-Check your child for Scoliosis.
-Teach your child on "Stranger Danger".
-Give your child a personal alarm, and instruct them on its use.
-Teach your child basic "street smarts" skills, like looking both ways before crossing and not going into secluded areas.
If your child has trouble focusing in school and on tasks, and it is not linked to reading difficulties and/or vision problems, they may have ADD or ADHD. ADD is just the lack of focus, and ADHD is the lack of focus plus physical hyperactivity.
For both, check out the Focusing page. With ADHD, let your child physically play and participate in sports.
[CDC Developmental Milestones (PDF)]
[CDC Signs and Symptoms of Autism (PDF)]
[Resources for Autism and Other Disabilities (USA Only)]
[Download the Red Cross Parenting App on your smartphone]