Conversation Guide and 36 Questions

Making conversation can be hard. However, it's easy once you know what to talk about.

-First, start with the "pleasantries". Say hello, introduce yourself, and wait for the other person to introduce yourself.

-Second, talk about something related to the scenario. This can either be neutral, or related to them. For example, it could be their job, or what costume they are wearing.

Remember, a conversation needs to "flow"


[36 Questions to Fall in Love]

These questions were created by Psychologist Arthur Aron. It is intended to create emotional connection. Although it is intended for couples, it can be used in friendly conversation between friends and family. (Note: Some of these are slightly modified and/or may have notes on their use)

1-12: Good for casual conversation and getting to know someone

13-24: Good for getting to know a long term partner

25-36: Deep emotional connection, can help with a failing relationship

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?

  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? What for?

  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

  5. When did you last sing to yourself? How about to someone else? What songs did you sing? What songs do you like to sing?

  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

  11. (Tell a detailed story about your life)

  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

    13. ---------

  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

  14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time?

  15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

  16. What do you value most in a friendship/relationship?

  17. What is your most treasured memory?

  18. What is your most terrible memory? (Use this one sparingly)

  19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

  20. What does friendship/love mean to you?

  21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

  23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's? (Use this one with care)

  24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

    25. ---------

  25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling..."

  26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

  27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

  28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

  29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

  30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? (Use this one sparingly)

  31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

  32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

  33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

  34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

  35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

  36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.


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